The Armonk Diet: A Glutton's Guide to Losing Weight by Aaron Spingarn

Author:Aaron Spingarn [Spingarn, Aaron]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2017-02-12T16:00:00+00:00

If all of your corn swallowing attempts so far did not succeed, you could always try starting off swallowing something smaller than corn. This allows you to make progress so that you eventually build up to corn. Some people find it difficult to swallow whole objects like seeds because their throats reject the intrusion of the seeds and tense up. In order to overcome your throat’s aversion to swallowing something the size of a kernel of corn, you can practice swallowing smaller objects to familiarize your throat with swallowing something whole.

You now have permission to try swallowing small candy instead. True, swallowing candy will not help you to lose weight. But focus on the mission at hand, trying to develop your swallowing skills. Since you can’t follow The Armonk Diet without learning how to swallow, think of this as a necessary evil in the service of a greater good. Small candies that can help include sprinkles, mini M&Ms, and Nerds. Put a sprinkle in your mouth like a pill, and swallow it with a drink of water. If you cannot swallow a sprinkle on the first try, let it rest on your tongue and soften and melt a little. Then retry swallowing it. Repeat this until you feel comfortable with all the candies of this size. Next, try swallowing a slightly larger-sized candy such as a Skittle, regular M&M, jelly bean, or Tic Tac. Repeat the same procedure with this size until you feel comfortable. You should practice every day for about 10 minutes until you can swallow a piece of candy that's about the same size as a whole corn kernel. Once you achieve the ability to swallow a corn kernel-sized candy, you can go back to any of the previous paragraphs and try again with actual corn kernels.

If, after all that, you still can’t swallow a kernel of corn without chewing it, perhaps you should consider scheduling a personal consultation with a swallowing therapist, or admit defeat and go to Plan B, discussed below. Ultimately, if you cannot swallow intact seeds smoothly and comfortably, you should not try to follow The Armonk Diet. Please do not try to force the seeds down your throat by swallowing unsafely. Forced swallowing raises your risk of aspiration, which is what happens when you choke down your food and it accidentally enters your windpipe (the breathing passage that leads into your lungs) instead of proceeding the usual way down your esophagus toward your stomach. Aspiration can lead to coughing, choking, and even death in rare cases. If you cannot swallow corn kernels comfortably despite trying to follow the recommendations above, feel free to keep trying the steps above until you succeed, but in the meantime please do not attempt this diet. Having said that, you might consider trying a less-effective variation of The Armonk Diet. Called Plan B, it allows you to eat in the usual way, including chewing everything before you swallow.

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